Yesterday I went to one of my best friends wedding, We grew up together. Jeff was def my best friend in high school we were always together. I remember when we first met like it was yesterday and its not like it makes me forget it either. I remember jumping on the trampoline together and being our 12 year old self going on bike rides around the block. Meeting his girlfriends, and girls he liked. Then going to dances parties, prom together. Taking night walks and having heart to hearts and deep conversations. I cant believe we are old enough to get married and that he is! I am so happy for him. It is weird to think. How did we get this old that we can get married? that we are the adults?

I am moving to Georgia in a couple weeks!!! I got a nanny job down there!!

Mothers Day

So It was Mother's Day this week mothers day has always been a little hard seeing other kids make things for their mother and I was sitting there making things for my sister.This year was harder one of my favorite Aunt who has been there for me through the hard times and I knows knew I could go to her about anything.These past couple years we have had conversations that I feel made me feel closer to her. And one of many times she holds me as I cried. Passed away this past Feb. Was hard one of my many second moms was hard. As I was sitting here doing my hair. I was thinking how lucky I am to have had 2 amazing examples to me looking out for me. I know prob the things I do with my life isn't their favorite but knowing that they will always love me no matter what happens. As I was sitting in my room I looked around and made me smile, When I moved to Utah I really didnt have a coat and my aunt brought me this crazy coat and says its Carmens and I laughed and was like this def looks like her. So I wore it all the time I love it. Then I moved back to Connecticut and brought it with me saying I am not giving it back I love it to much. I am glad I never gave it back so I can keep it. Whenever I wear it I think of my Crazy Aunt Carm. Today I am wearing my moms favorite necklace well what I think is her. It my favorite one my mom has. Its one I think of whenever we talk about my moms jewelry. Just a couple months ago I was looking at her jewelry for the first time in about 10 years or more. Most of them I remember how could you not they are light bulbs for Christmas. Witches on brooms, hearts for Valentines day. There was one necklace that is just a plain gold one and I just picked it up to put it back the way I used to do when I was little hanging them up. and It was a flash back to memories of me sitting on her lap and playing with this necklace its one that you and play with and make shapes. I don't remember a lot of memories with my mom just back I was young when she passed. That when that happened made me cry and I will cherish that moment. I feel it was a way to show she was there and a memory it was a time when I missed her the most and I needed something like that. I know just because my mom wasnt here on Mothers day doesnt mean I cant show her I love her. My mom was an amazing women did everything she could for her family. She has always been an example to me. I want to be a mother like she was. She was that mother who went to bed last and woke up before anyone else. Who worked as a crossing guard and a sub at my elementary school. Who would drive around town for soccer practices, baseball, softball, and much more. She was a second mother to everyone in the neighborhood, just because everyone was always over our house. All 6 of her children she made then feel special loved and cherished everyday. We all had our little things with her. Even though I was young and didnt have a lot to say or talk about. She was the one who you could talk to about anything. There were night I remember staying up with my mom because I "couldnt sleep" waiting for one of the older siblings to come home from a date. and we talked tell I feel asleep in my moms lap. My moment I cherished the most with my mom was before I went to school full time, We would go do the crossing guarding then run the morning errands. Come home and have lunch that only a mommy can make and we would haves go have nap time usually her time to nap and we would lay in her bed and she would put on Guiding Light! She would fall asleep as I watched. Thats where I get the love of soap operas on TV. Cuddling with my mom was my favorite thing to do. Whenever I had a chance I would be sitting on her lap. I am grateful to have her as my mom and that she is watching over me. I am sad that my kids will not know her and how amazing she was but I know she is preparing them as we speak and helping them get ready for this life. I know she has and is doing that for my brothers and sisters kids. I saw that with my nephew through his heart problems I know my mom was there before preparing him and is with him now. I love you mom with all my heart. I miss you everyday <3 and I love you Crazy Carm! Heaven has 2 amazing angels.